boys to men to fashionistas
by vapanalley
Summary: /drabbles set during the Inheritance Ceremony Arc/ 14. Reborn almost chuckles, but he decides against it because it might sound like a giggle and then the Vindice prison guards might take him away.
1. shallow and hungry

A/N: Set during the Inheritance Arc. This is fairly cracki-ish and not serious. Because, frankly, the latest chapters *cough*Ch. 377*cough* are getting kind of sort of a lot ridiculous.

Disclaimer: KHR belongs to Amano. Derp.

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><p>-Boys to Men to Fashionistas-<p>

Shallow and Hungry

Mukuro feels shallow. Mukuro feels very shallow. But Mukuro cannot deny that his body looks smoking hot in riding boots and that old-fashion-y looking jacket with the bronze colored buttons.

Mukuro has possessed enough people to know that being possessed is not always flattering on the person/plant/animal being possessed, but hot _damn_ he looks fiiine. Mukuro is a little pissed that he can't think in more complex sentences. But he is stuck in the body of an owl.

An owl. Despite how the Ancient Greeks used to believe owls were goddess of wisdom's pet bird, Mukuro can only finish acknowledging he looks hot before he gets hungry.

He wouldn't mind a fat, juicy mouse at the moment. But he supposes he can only feast his eyes on Sawada Tsunayoshi for the time being. Boy does that boy look mousy.


	2. weighed down and disgusted

Weighed Down and Disgusted

Gokudera is sort of disgusted by how decked out in gear that he is. And he thinks that he only loses in dorkitude to Yamamoto. Because everyone wants to be dressed in a _dress_ like a samurai like Yamamoto Takeshi obviously is dressed.

Not that Gokudera has anything against samurai or anything, its just Yamamoto looks like he is not carrying anything too heavy and here is Gokudera Hayato decked out like the Fourth of July in the Americas with all these explosives strapped against his chest and the lamest fucking pair of boots never made in Italy. Honestly, Gokudera had no fucking idea what G had been thinking or whoever the fuck had thought to make his Vongola X gear into a belt, and then forced him to bear with a shitload of fuckery strapped all over his body.

At least he can make things explode. That is, if he could actually explode anything because he's stuck in some dipshit's alternate universe that said dipshit created with _cards_.

Some days, Gokudera can just feel the hate of the universe aimed at his back.


	3. scared and lost

Scared and Lost

Tsuna likes the cape. He really does. But he finds it troublesome when he walks, and sometimes (only sometimes, nowadays) he becomes afraid he is going to trip and fall on his butt or his face and everyone will stop thinking about how cool and powerful he is and only notice how Dame Tsuna tripped over his own ultra-uber-awesome-swishy-badass cape.

'_His own cape!_' They will whisper behind his back.

So while he loves the cape, he kind of regrets whoever outfitted his Vongola X gear with a cape. They should know that he can't do anything right, and sooner or later (probably sooner) he is going to trip and then all will be lost.

_'Lost!'_ They will shout when the Vongola falls because Vongola X couldn't walk the walk with his crappy cape tripping him up.


	4. hateful and indignant

A/N: Possible spoilers of Ch. 338. It was ridiculous as well.

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><p>Hateful and Indignant<p>

Hibari hates cheaters.

It's against the rules and he hates them with the passion of a thousand dying suns exploding all at once to create rainbows and unicorns where there were none to begin within a scientific universe. His hatred is akin to a million elephants trumpeting and stampeding together at the same time, in a chain, around the world, running out into outer space to wreck intergalactic havoc. Elephants are herbivores. It only goes to show Hibari's hatred is so extensive he would make strange and unnaturally creative metaphors about elephants to make a point. His burning desire for the elimination of all cheaters surpasses the destruction of hundred of universes while stars expand and eat up atom after atom. His need to snuff out the very _soul_ of Daemon Spade rivals his feelings for the preservation of all things Naminori.

Hibari feels the desperate need to prove his point and destroy Daemon Spade, because Hibari Kyoya is the original and he is so much, much better than anything some man with a mouth sprouting from his ribs could ever be. Besides, when Hibari foams at the mouth, he actually has a mouth to foam out of.

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><p><em>It is a sin not to review a fanfiction that you may or may not have read up to the fourth chapter of and doesn't even have a word count of over 1,000 at this point. Review or feel the wrath of Knuckles and his Hail Mary's. <em>


	5. frigid and withdrawn

Frigid and Withdrawn

Haru has always had the desperate need to be left behind.

Ever since she was little, she just didn't want to be includedin _anything_. Every time someone picked her to do anything whether it was kickball, softball, baseball, tetherball, soccer, or any kind of team activity Haru was always struck with the desperate need to _back out_.

See, Haru doesn't like people. Haru is really withdrawn and would rather not be around anyone if she could have it her way. Haru doesn't like talking.

In fact, Haru is so impersonal her impersonality has rubbed off on Kyoko and nothing has been seen of them for the past few weeks Tsuna and the gang had been away on a deserted island competing in the most ultimate of wrestling contests. Haru and Kyoko haven't appeared in anything except for a page shot of them standing and staring into the sky soulfully while they believed in their boys to the best of their super-duper impersonal abilities some time in the last millennium.

Because these girls are, like, super frigid like that.


	6. dirty and devious

Dirty and Devious

When Lambo says he likes to play games, what he really means is that he enjoys the opportunity you have presented him to play dirty.

When you are playing monopoly he will cry a river deep enough to drown you if you _don't sell him the jail_ for dirt cheap.

When you play ma-jong he is peeking at your tiles when you're at the loo.

When you play Give Me the Ring he will call out his sexy, badass future of a self to kick your ass. And don't deny you weren't checking his pecks while he performed the most amazing lightning strike you ever had the honor to be at the receiving end of.

When you play Let's Go to Jail for Family Honor, he will break out his shield and green lightning and do an amazing reenactment of a move reminiscent of a young Green Lantern or something just to kick you butt and send you flying. Do not eat before you play, it's just not a good idea.

When you try to play Marco Polo he will electrocute you when you get too close so you will never have a chance to touch him.

When you play Who Wants to Take a Bath he will electrocute you.

When you play Who Wants to Leave that Nice Man Alone he will electrocute you.

When you play Who Wants to Leave ME Alone he will electrocute you.

Lambo has a lot of fun games he wants to play with you.


	7. horrified and very, very angry

Horrified and Very, very Angry

Chrome wants to kill Daemon Spade so bad.

The one time she gets _one_ fashion accessory no one else has and that bastard goes and makes a copy of it. It doesn't matter if it's just an illusion or he is trying to fake her out. It's on now. She is going to kill him and then he is going to be dead.

Not only that, but he is defiling Mukuro-sama's body. Chrome doesn't even care what comes out of that man's mouth, but he put _eyes_ on Mukuro-samas shapely thighs.

Daemon Spade must die.


	8. bitter and self righteous

A/N: The crackiest of them all. Kind of. Socrates alert!

Disclaimer: Just to be clear, what website are we on again?

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><p>Bitter and Self-Righteous<p>

Squalo used to tell Yamamoto all the time that rain is just one god or another pissing through a sieve. Or maybe it was Gokudera who said it. Or maybe he read it somewhere.

Anyway, Yamamoto knows better.

Rain is really just a product of giant pandas doing a sky dance on clouds. When the clouds get too full of water, they call on giant pandas to do a dance on top of them and when the pandas get too excited that's thunder. They have strobe lights up there too, so when the pandas _really_ get into the dance it causes lightening.

Yamamoto is smart enough to know that rain isn't god _piss_. Who did they think he was?

When Byakuran comes into his hospital room telling him that blessings from marshmallow faeries are what make it rain, Yamamoto _had _to get back up and fight.

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><p><em>If you didn't feel the desperate need to review after eight chapters of crack, then you must be in need of some angst. Cry me a river or review!<em>


	9. pride and priorities

Pride and Priorities

Ryohei doesn't mind that his Vongola X gear is basically just a pair of shorts, gloves, and some head gear. They are all super EXTREME so it makes up for the lack of cloth. And the very EXTREME arm-band-thing makes it even better.

Who doesn't want to be an uber-masochist and get hit over and over just to get a power up? The more EXTREME the hit the more that Ryohei's EXTREMENESS can shine through and blind everyone. This awesome is so awesome it blinds people. Yep.

So nope, Ryohei doesn't mind at all.

He also gets to show off his very hard earned six pack. Oh, yeah~.


	10. forever together and never apart

A/N: Some spoilers for Ch. 339 if you read really, really carefully.

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><p>Forever Together and Never Apart<p>

Tsuna-kun is Enma's and Enma is Tsuna-kun's.

Let no fool debate this fact of life. For they are the Hyper Duo and they shall conquer all that stands in there way, they will let no obstacle conquer _them_ while they stand together.

Facing off against a psychopath is _nothing_ for the Hyper Duo.

They shall conquer him through sheer fire power and the use of giant-gravity-manipulating-floating-balls.

After this, the Hyper Duo will forever be attached at the hip and they will never ever need fear school yard bullies again because one of them can be the watchman and every time they see someone suspicious they can _think_ to each other and escape danger.

The Hyper Duo is not a Duo that can be crossed, because they crush all opposition simply because they are so _attuned _to each other (if you know what I mean).


	11. amused and amused

Amused and Amused

Reborn is amused. Reborn is very amused. Reborn is so amused he think he might just actually be amused.


	12. certain and frustrated

A/N: Birthday boy, ahoy!

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><p>Certain and Frustrated<p>

There are ten things that Mukuro can think of with the utmost clarity at the moment while his tiny owl brain goes into overdrive.

1. Daemon Spades is an attention hog.

2. Daemon Spades doesn't know how to be evil enough. He should have just killed Chrome if he wanted to prevent her from stopping his illusions.

3. Daemon Spades is a narcissistic bastard.

4. Flapping is tiring.

5. Chrome is so cute when she is flustered.

6. Enma looks like he wants to eat Tsuna.

7. Daemon Spades is an attention hog.

8. He is going to have to do so much damage control once his body is returned to him. His pores! He will have to do some extreme de-toxing.

9. Daemon Spades is an attention hog.

10…

Mukuro can't remember the tenth thing anymore. Damn his tiny owl brain!


	13. humble and modest

Humble and Modest

Daemon Spades isn't narcissistic by any stretch of the imagination.

He believes in playing fair and being kind and not ripping off all the latest fashion styles from _children_. It's actually not as easy as stealing from a baby. It takes flair, and Daemon has the kind of flair a man needs to pull of ox horns on his head, insect-like legs protruding from his back, and rings of bone dancing around him while still executing commercial-worthy hair flips.

Spades doesn't mean anything personal when he says that he looks damn sexy. Because he is, and no, it doesn't make him self absorbed or vain since he can pull it off and you're just jealous.

Daemon Spades isn't vain or anything.

He just made six copies of himself for purely for technical purposes and never would he ever have made those copies just to check if his looks-like-they-were-poured-on pants were clinging to the right place. Never.

He isn't that kind of man.

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><p><em>Thirteen is an unlucky number. Don't make yourself unlucky. Review and good things may or may not come your way. <em>


	14. pleased and then scandalized

A/N: Possible spoilers for Ch. 343. Summer has me down, so this is going to be the only update for a while.

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><p>Pleased and (then) Scandalized<p>

Reborn pats the collar of his dress shirt to make sure that the collar is still stiff. Standing out in this heat in the middle of a tropical jungle (with all that dampness) cannot be good for his thousand thread-count suit. Of course, ever since he had been transformed into a baby, he has needed less cloth to make his specially tailored suits. Less money goes to dressing well, so for once he can buy that all the really big and super shiny guns he wants.

Like the saying goes, there is a silver lining to every cluster of explosives.

His tiny eyes flit from Tsuna to Enma to Daemon Spades. For once, he is pleased with Tsuna. For once, Dame Tsuna's final comeback has been truly spectacular. His speed has increased drastically and his punches seemed to have increased four times in strength. Reborn watches Daemon Spade grunt from the impact of Tsuna's fist.

Although Reborn had not anticipated that Shimon Primo and Vongola Primo would have been so kinky as to arrange a marriage for their descendants so early in their history, Reborn is still pleasantly surprised by the results. The combination of Enma and Tsuna's flames has yielded good results. Perhaps Enma's presence will also finally get Tsuna to straighten up as well.

Good boy, Reborn thinks as he ntoes Tsuna has tucked his thumb over his knuckles.

Reborn almost chuckles, but he decides against it because it might sound like a giggle and then the Vindice prison guards might take him away. Perhaps they had baby sized cells in that prison of theirs.

Reborn settles on sighing in satisfaction, but before his little moment of pleasure can truly set in a set of foul and ugly words fall from Tsuna's mouth.

"Mine and Enma's flames will defeat you!" Tsuna says.

Reborn sighs in disgust this time. All that time tutoring the fool about compound subjects and he still messes it up, and at such a critical time too! Reborn shakes his head and the Vindice guards eye him curiously.


End file.
